And just like it always is...

NOLA was just what I needed. All of Louisiana was, really. I left Houston on Saturday with a heavy heart, mourning for Boston and my friends whose lives have been so seriously altered. I returned last night refreshed and calm, even though I'd had a very emotional week. Louisiana is good to me that way.

As I drove down I-10 and entered that gorgeous city, I was reminded of hope and resiliency. This place that had gone through so much tragedy was doing just fine. Sure, there are a lot of lasting problems that still remain from the hurricane, but the spirit of the city is back, and stronger than ever. In fact, I'm not sure it ever left. This made me feel calmer: Boston, a city of tough people, will recover. They will be fine. They will run the marathon next year, and it will be beautiful.

The weekend was filled with amazing food, beautiful people, great music, and a lot of fun. JVs are some of the best people in the world, and the 30something of us who were gathered together in the NOLA houses were happily squished. The boys from South Dakota, the girls from Phoenix, people from Austin, San Antonio, and Mobile were all there, as well as our house, the two NOLA houses, and the other Houston house.It's so rare that we all get to spend time together, and having a weekend of fun to enjoy each others' company was so much fun.

One of the best parts of my time in NOLA was being able to share the city I'm so passionate about with my community and fellow JVs. Over different parts of the weekend, I took friends to get po'boys at Parkway Bakery, on a tour of the Lower Ninth Ward, and to Cafe du Monde and the French Quarter. We stumbled upon a second line parade that lead us to a giant Earth Day festival on Sunday, and I remembered why I decided to be a JV in the first place.

In the Lower Ninth, I took my community and the girls from Phoenix to the Lower Ninth Ward Village, an incredible community center set up after the storm that is run by locals- the people who know best what their community needs. Mack, the man who founded the village, has an incredible story, one that is at the roots of why I love NOLA. When we pulled up in front of the former auto body shop, we were greeted with open arms. Even though we weren't there to volunteer, Mack spent an hour with us sharing his story and showing us his project. I felt so blessed to be able to return to this place of resiliency and hope, and for my community members to gain a bit more of an understanding of why I feel the way I do about NOLA.

We got to spend a lot of time with the boys of the South Dakota (SoDak) community, which was also so restoring. They have what I believe are the most challenging positions in JVC- they live on a reservation in St. Francis, SD, working with the Lakota tribe. They are overworked and exhausted, sometimes frustrated, but so full of life. They have an isolating placement and do so many different kinds of jobs- anything that might be needed, they do, including radio DJ. They were very happy to have some time with other JVs, and their stories and amazing spirits were so wonderfully shared. Two of them will be on the East Coast next year- one in PA and the other in DC- I can't wait to hang out with them more!

On Monday, we left the Lower Ninth Ward and headed to our retreat in Convent, LA, about an hour from NOLA. We arrived to the gorgeous old plantation and got to spend time with the JVs who didn't make the trek to NOLA for the weekend, enjoyed a delicious dinner, and then we entered into silence.

The retreat was a "preached" retreat, which meant that we had a series of short talks each day that we attended, and then were guided in personal prayer. The grounds of Manresa, the retreat center named for Ignatius Loyola's own retreat into a cave near the town of Manresa, Spain, were stunning. Ancient live oaks were lined all over the property, which abutted the Mississippi River. I was able to pray and reflect in the sunshine of the gardens, in my room, in the gorgeous chapel, and in runs along the levee next to the river.

The silence was beautiful. It was so nice to have some time to think and pray and really be by myself- something I never get to do as a JV, except in the car. I had been really working at my relationship with God over the past few weeks, but this retreat was what helped the most. When I spent time in Kenya, a lot of that time was spent in prayer. I was able to pray in community with the Dominicans, and the combination of that prayer and my service was a perfect balance. I returned feeling grounded and loved, and I felt that way again while at Manresa.

I was able to connect to God so well, and I had a lot of time to pray contemplatively, something very Ignatian. This is when one reads a passage from scripture and really imagines themselves in the passage- what was it like to be there? I had a lot of reflection on Christ's love, His humanity, and His sacrifice, and it has given me much to think about in my final few months of JVC. I was able to reflect on sin, and how and why I want to do better. I have gained new insights into myself and who I am called to be, and the choices I will make after this year is over.

While on retreat I had ample time for reading. Much of this time was spent with scripture, but I also read "A Jesuit Off Broadway," a great book by Fr. Jim Martin, SJ. He spent time with the cast of the Public Theatre's The Last Days of Judas Escariot, and his reflections on working with actos, their relationships with God, the making of the play, and the connection between acting and prayer really helped me to dig deeper into prayer. He put into words the connection I've always felt, and I'd highly recommend the book to anyone, especially those who are theatrically inclined.

Driving back yesterday, I was filled with peace. I am tired, but happy, and ready to conquer the last quarter of this year.

Stuck in Reverse

I have been trying to find words since Monday afternoon. It's been hard to explain how I'm feeling, but I think that "heavy" is the best adjective I can come up with. While I'm not from Boston, and I didn't go to school in Boston, I feel like I know more people who live there and call it home than people in Philadelphia.

My Monday afternoon was spent frantically texting and calling all of my friends who were spending their day off celebrating at Marathon Monday, what I know is one of the most fun days of the year. Many of my best friends from college live and work in Boston, the heart and soul of New England. I was in a trance, pulling up CNN.com and watching the live stream of the finish line, going to the gym but not really running, just watching the news coverage.

Luckily, I spent Monday night among friends. There had been plans for a little gathering at Kate and McKenzie's apartment on Monday, and while they thought about canceling, they decided to carry on, and that was the best medicine. Good food, good friends, and many laughs can fix anything, even if it's temporary. Kate, a BC alum, knew how I was feeling, only more. I can't even imagine how I would react to such a tragic event in my home away from home of Providence, and I could tell that her heart was aching for Boston.

As is mine. While Monday night was a good distraction for me, coming to school on Tuesday morning was eerie. We prayed as a school for all those affected, but everyone here for the most part is so separated from the East Coast that they don't understand the repercussions. They don't know people in Boston. Many of them have never been to Boston, and don't really understand how big the marathon is. They haven't ever interacted with Sox fans, and they don't understand how proud Bostonians are.

Being around people who weren't reacting was hard- it was good to check in with Kate every once and a while, and thank God, our friends are all safe. As the days have gone on, I've learned of connections to two of the three people who lost their lives. The 29 year old woman was a friend's boss, and the 8 year old boy was the brother of an Irish dancer, a girl who lost a leg in the explosion. Jane, the dancer, was a student of one of the PC Irish Dance girls at a prestigious dance academy in Massachusetts.

The response from the Irish Dance community, both at PC and all over the world, is astounding. There is an organization that is making a t-shirt quilt (or probably several at this point) for Jane, made of Irish Dance school t-shirts that are being sent from all over the world. PCID and other Irish Dance orgs from New England colleges are hosting a dance-out next Friday to raise money for the family. I have never been so proud to be a PCID alum.

So yes, the response is beautiful. The first responders are amazing, as are the doctors and nurses working around the clock to heal people. Everyone, it seems, wants to help Boston. Kelly, a good friend from PC, works in City Hall in Boston. She has told me about the beautiful gestures of kindness she's witnessed (and taken part in herself), but also about the scary responses, specifically the Westboro "Baptist Church." Now, they don't really deserve anyone's time, and I'm not going to waste mine about how infuriating they are, but they're a presence in the city, and they shouldn't be.

I have been encouraged by stories of runners continuing on straight to Mass Gen to donate blood, seen the video of the National Anthem at the Bruins game, and Stephen Colbert's wise words (Boston was founded by the pilgrims- a people who were so tough that they had to buckle their goddamn hats on), but I can't help but ask why.

I don't have an answer, and I know that no one does. I was even more infuriated with the Senate when they didn't pass a bill requiring background checks for weapons. We see disasters like Sandy Hook and the Boston bombings, all rooted in terrible violence, and then we give in to the bullies at the NRA? When 92% of Americans support stronger background checks?!

Gabby Giffords said it best.

"Speaking is physically difficult for me. But my feelings are clear: I’m furious. I will not rest until we have righted the wrong these senators have done, and until we have changed our laws so we can look parents in the face and say: We are trying to keep your children safe. We cannot allow the status quo — desperately protected by the gun lobby so that they can make more money by spreading fear and misinformation — to go on." (Read her whole op-ed here.)

I realize that I haven't written about my Kairos experience yet, and I know that this post is getting lengthy, but I can't ignore the connections. One of the student leaders gave a talk that has changed my world. 

He has two older brothers, both of whom joined a gang, a completely normal choice in urban Houston for a Mexican teenage boy. One of them was on a "tag team," which means that he and his partner went out and tagged (graffiti-ed) the gang's symbols. My student's brother's partner wanted out of the gang, and really turned his life around. He got a job as a mural artist in LA, and during the process, became a real mentor to my student. He was more of a brother than any biological brother had been. LA was great, and my student's mentor came home for a visit in September.

He called the house to let my student know that surprise, he was just getting gas around the corner, and would be over for a visit soon. My student described watching his mother on the phone with his mentor, and how filled with joy she was that he would be over soon. Suddenly, her face changed. She put down the phone, picked up her keys, and ran to the car. My student followed, and despite his questions, his mother was silent. Until they got to the gas station.

My student got out of the car to find his mentor dead next to his car, shot in a drive-by, a repercussion of coming back to Houston, where he had been a member of the "wrong gang." 

In a place where boys are literally born into these gangs because of family ties, where they have no choice other than fight or die, they are forced into gun violence. 

This was a reminder of why I'm here- I'm not a teacher, I am here to be Christ to these students who have been so broken by a cycle of poverty and violence.
I can't prevent what happened to my student's mentor or the terrible acts of violence in Boston, but I can try to break the cycle of violence with my students now. I can TRY to fix them.

In Transition

Over the past few weeks (and years), I have been in transition. I know this is something I've written about before, but the past few weeks it's been practically shoved in my face.

I have been off and on planes, flown all across the eastern half of the country, and driven all around East Texas. Upon each return to Houston, I have unpacked a suitcase only to repack it and take off again. Last night, I unpacked in Houston for what seems to be the last time.

I'm in the final third of JVC... it's completely surreal. Where did this year go? I only have about 6 more instruction weeks left with my students, (28 more pre-6 AM wake ups, but who's counting?)and then a summer with a very different feel to it. I'll be tutoring summer school from 8:30-12:30, and then remaining at school for a few hours to help out administratively. It will be a HUGE change of pace- no more lesson plans, very minimal grading, and a lot more sleep.

I won't lie... I'm looking forward to it. I know that this is the home stretch of the hard work, and I'm trying to remain focused on my work and my students, but the dreams of summer don't escape you once you move from student to teacher.

As I'm focusing on my work, I'm also applying for jobs! I have one resume and cover letter in, and I'm working on two more... there is one position that I REALLY want, and I hope to have my application submitted on Monday! It's exciting for sure, but the application season couldn't have worse timing. Just as I'm refocusing and planning for the rest of the semester, I am also having to spend time focusing on adjusting my resume and writing cover letters. It feels like finals season all over again!

I have a lot to balance right now, but I feel a great sense of peace. I was happy to return to Houston this time, and especially to return to a sense of routine and normalcy. I really do miss my students while I'm gone, and I'm happy to be settled in with them for the next 2 months.

So while I'm back and settled in, I'm still in transition. I have to be thinking about the next step while I'm thinking about my work here. It's overwhelming, but not the hardest thing I've ever done. I just have to keep on trucking through... 8 weeks until summer!

Update!

I'm baaaaaaack!

I know, it's been forever. I'm sorry. Life has been (and continues to be) crazy, but will only be for a short while longer! I'm down to about 4 months left in Tejas (what?!), and as I suddenly realized, only 2 of those are with students. Yikes.

So here's the reader's digest version of what's been happening recently:

1. I went to Austin for South by Southwest for my friend Courtney's band! They were awesome, and I met my favorite YouTube personality, Hannah Hart! She makes a series of videos called "My Drunk Kitchen," and my roommates senior year of college and I really love her. I knew from twitter that she was in Austin, and of course as soon as I stopped scouring every bar on 6th street, I looked over, and there she was. Awesome.

 Courtney KILLED it!

 Hannah and Me!

2. I went home! Surprise!! My mom and a few selected NDA friends knew, but I went home during Cristo Rey spring break and surprised most of my family and friends. It was a lovely few days at home, and while I didn't get to spend as much time as I wanted to with everyone, it was still so very wonderful.

 Surprise, Dad!

3.  I went on Kairos! I went on Kairos III as an adult leader and cook with the junior boys. It was hilarious, inspiring, uplifting, and heartbreaking all in one. I learned a lot more detail about the things my students face every day, and gave me a good reminder that I am not just a regular teacher here- I'm volunteering and should be reflecting better. Full post on Kairos to come soon!

4. There is a new Pope! And he's (mostly) awesome and Jesuit! A whole post will come about this as well, but I couldn't ignore it!

A real post will follow, but I owed you all an update. I head home tomorrow for almost a week: yippee!

A Piece of Home

As I mentioned in my last post, I had some visitors this weekend! Kaitlin and Mary Emily, two of my best friends from high school, came down to Texas on Saturday. It's Mare's spring break from law school this week, and Kaitlin took her first "fun" vacation time from her job to come play with me!

It was a weekend of a lot of delicious food, so much fun, and a wonderful piece of home. I think you can all tell that I'm fairly homesick as much as I love my work here, and having Kaitlin and Mare here made that so much easier. I really enjoyed showing them around the city and taking them places to eat, and since they were here, I did a lot of things that I probably wouldn't have otherwise.

On Saturday we went immediately to Torchy's, my favorite taco place in Houston. They were hungry after a long flight, and I don't think I've ever said no to a Torchy's outing. On the way home, we stopped by Chris and Ryan's to pick up an air mattress and pillows/blankets (I seriously don't know how I'd do this year without them), since Cassie also had friends in town. We wanted to make sure everyone had a comfortable place to sleep!

After stopping by home and picking up Karen, we went to a party for Texas Independence Day at a really cool bar on the outskirts of downtown called The Refinery.  It was a "brew-off" of different Texas breweries, and we got to try a lot of different varieties of beer. My favorite was definitely a jalepeno beer from Katy, TX.

Note: yes, you did read Texas Independence Day. It's a thing. It was Sam Houston's birthday, and it's the day that Texans celebrate the period of time when Texas was a republic. They're quite proud that they're the only state whose flag can fly at the same height as the US flag. Of course.

Saturday night, we had a little party at my house, which was a lot of fun, and ended with some really great pizza. Sunday morning we went to a DELICIOUS brunch and went vintage store hunting. I didn't end up with anything, but it was still really fun!

Then, we hit the rodeo. Read my previous post for all those details.

I had to work on Monday (womp) but only until 2, so Mare and Kaitlin got up and drove me to work (they are seriously the best friends), and took my car back with them. After getting a few more hours of beauty sleep, they went to Hermann Park in the middle of Houston, one of my favorite spots, and Mare read while Kaitlin went on a run. She's training for the Broad Street Run through Team in Training (check out her page here), and she missed her team training because she came to visit me, so she got her run in on a gorgeous Texas day- the high was 80, no humidity, with sun shining.

They came to pick me up and we went straight to NASA to tour the Johnson Space Center! Luckily, we got the very last tram tour ride of the day, and we got to see the Apollo Mission Control Room, as well as the Saturn V rocket. It was so cool to see everything, and it honestly felt like we were in DisneyWorld.

On the tram tour!

Houston, we have a problem.

Kaitlin and I in front of the GINORMOUS Saturn V

And another with Mare.. does this photo give you some perspective as to its size?

Yesterday, I taught my morning classes, and picked the girls up for lunch to get some good barbecue. I must say that I wasn't all that impressed with the place we went- I'll have to update you all on where the best bbq is, but I have a feeling that it's actually not in Houston, but other parts of Texas.

We then went to my favorite boutique cupcake place, Sprinkles. I enjoyed a lovely peanut butter chip cupcake and small glass of milk, and just as Mare sat down to her Irish Chocolate cupcake (Belgian chocolate cake with Bailey's frosting...) and coffee, disaster struck in the form of a text. Their flight (through Chicago, eek!) was delayed so much that they'd miss their connection. Luckily, Mary Emily is a travel expert, and as Kaitlin and I watched while enjoying our treats, Mare had them rebooked through Orlando, but the closest they could get to Philadelphia was Baltimore. Kaitlin had to work today, and they knew that if they didn't get in last night, they wouldn't get in until Thursday night or Friday because of the snow. 

 

Two iPhones in use, and they had a new flight!

 

When they landed in Orlando, they discovered that their flight to Baltimore had been cancelled. They BOOKED it to another gate and ran right onto a new plane and thankfully made it home very late last night.

I'm so grateful to my wonderful friends who flew all the way down to see me, endured my crazy house and crazy schedules, and then had to deal with getting home in a snowstorm. I'm pretty lucky.

Well, How-dee!

It's rodeo season here in Houston, and I suddenly feel like I live in a different country. I know I have said this about Texas before, but the rodeo takes it to a whole new level.

Think of every single stereotype of Texas you can. What came to mind? Trucks? Fried food? Accents? Farms? Texas flags? Animals? Cowboy hats? Football?


That's the rodeo. All of those things are gathered into one place. It's overwhelming.

Yesterday, we adventured to the rodeo for the first time. After parking at Chris and Ryan's (they're seriously the best) and walking over, we picked up our tickets at will-call, and found our way inside the gate.

Then, we had no idea what to do. The rodeo has several parts, but we don't really know how to navigate them. There is a carnival, a livestock show (still very unsure what that actually means), and a rodeo, and then a big concert every night.

We wandered around the carnival at first, and saw a lot of rides and games, as well as a lot of fried food (on a stick!). For those of you who are familiar with Havertown traditions, think St. Denis Fun Fair, with a lot more fried food and about 10 times as big. I had the option to have any food fried- literally. So I figured when in Rome...

My qualifications were that it had to be fried and it had to be on a stick. This was easily achieved... with a fried Snickers.

Yes, the girl who prefers whole foods and eats vegetarian ate a fried Snickers bar on a stick. And liked it.

Then, we wandered through the Livestock Show Pavillion. We saw what looked like the AKC dog show... but kids were showing cows. We can't decide if this was what the Livestock Show is or if it's where people go to buy horses, pigs, goats, lambs, etc, but we will figure it out eventually!

Finally, we headed into the actual rodeo. We saw events like steer wrestling, calf scrambling, barrel racing, and bull riding... it was surreal. I loved that the best barrel racer EVER in the history of the Houston Rodeo... is a woman! She is a cowgirl from South Dakota, and is really cool. The events were so entertaining, and a very interesting part of American culture.

My favorite by far... Mutton Bustin'. It is when small children (aged 4-7) ride sheep for as long as they can. It's actually hilarious. They just grab on to the sheep and hold tight... so cute. Peyton, a 6 year old girl, was the Mutton Bustin' champion. Her interview was adorable... she informed the cowgirl that she had  done this 7 times before, which was probably why she was so good at it. She also practiced on her dog.

After the cowboy events were over, there was a concert that our ticket included admission to! Last night? Austin Mahone and Demi Lovato. Teen pop sensations. Pretty sure we were waaaaaay too old to be there, but we loved every second of it. Demi especially- she is such a positive role model for girls! She beat an eating disorder and depression, and she is very open about her story and empowering people to beat these terrible things. She's actually very talented too- girl can sing! She's from Texas and sang a great country song about being home, and teared up... which is when Eva, Megan and I lost it.

Look for more updates about missing home and the visit of Mary Emily and Kaitlin very soon!

Go Texan Day?

Happy "Go Texan" Day!

Thought this had something to do with the football team? Me too. It doesn't.

It's literally a day when we dress "Texan." It's to celebrate the beginning of rodeo season... This is real life. I feel like I'm wearing a costume. It's surreal. ALL of my students are wearing this, and I'm the only one who's laughing.

Texas is a different country.

I'm buying my rodeo tickets tonight...