I Am Exactly Where I'm Meant to Be

I spent last night curled up in my PC sweatshirt drinking hot cocoa, and I knew in the moment that I was exactly where I was meant to be. And no, I did not give in to my temptation to retreat to the East Coast to watch the first snowfall of the year.

I was in the Cristo Rey Jesuit library for the school’s first “Student Union Night.” It’s a night where a section of the school is turned into a college-like student union, a place where the kids can hang out together, eat pizza, drink coffee, and work on their homework. What’s even better than most college student unions is that their teachers were there too to help them on the work they had assigned!

This night is a senior privilege, and most of the seniors came out. I was so happy to get the chance to hang out with the seniors and get to know them better, and while I don’t teach them, I was still able to help them work on papers that they had due. I also got to get closer to the girls on the soccer team that I’ve been assistant-coaching, which was really nice. They’re a lot of fun, and never fail to make me laugh!

Many of them have an 8-12 page paper due today, and many of them had between 3 and 5 pages written. In college, that would have been no problem- 2 or 3 hours of work more at the most. For these seniors, this is the longest paper they’ve had to write that wasn’t a final paper. Their teacher has very high expectations of them, and they were very overwhelmed. I was very happy to help calm their nerves, read what they had written so far, and give advice on how to continue.

Our spirituality night on Sunday was focused around a poem that Rachel shared with us that a friend of a friend had written. One of the lines really stuck out to me, and as I was curled in a chair drinking my hot cocoa discussing a paper with the seniors, I couldn’t help but remember it. 

“And the world steps in

to test the calm fluidity of your body

from moment to moment

as if it believed you could join its vibrant dance

of fire and calmness and final stillness

as if you were meant to be exactly where

you are.”

These past few weeks have been challenging. I am homesick, I am exhausted, and while I’ve had little breaks to catch up on my mental and physical health, I needed a reminder of why I was here. Tonight was that reminder for me.

So even though my hot cocoa was not accompanied by looking out at the newly fallen snow, I was at peace. I was looking at a room full of joyful, hilarious college-bound seniors whose lives I’m actually making a positive difference in. I am exactly where I am meant to be.