Trust in the Unknown

"If we are to do justice to his humanity, we must accept that he did not know what would happen next, only that this is where God wanted him to be."

As I was saying my prayers yesterday, this line jumped out at me. Here at CRJ, we have a faculty book club of sorts during Lent, where we read Sacred Space, a collection of thoughts and reflections as well as scripture from the Irish Jesuits. For more information on sacred space, click here. 

I am only halfway through JVC. I'm pretty sure that I blinked and it was suddenly almost the end of February, and the coming months will be just as packed and quick, but I do still have six months remaining.

Which is weird, because I am fighting against myself: I am consumed by trying to figure out the next step, but battling to stay present here in Houston. I know I've written about this before, but that line in the prayer jumped out at me. During Lent, we are meditating on Jesus' humanity and life here on Earth, as well as his sacrifice. Sacred Space breaks this season up by week with different ideas on which to meditate, and I have really enjoyed reading scripture each day and reflecting on Jesus.

"Jesus didn't know what would happen next, only that this is where God wanted him to be."

Ivan, one of the theology teachers, often talks about our jobs as "being Christ" to our students, and how each of our students need us to be Christ to them in a different way. I love this way of describing our work, and I try to remind myself of this when I'm having a particularly tough day at school. Christ often encountered difficult situations, but he had a mission from God that he needed to fulfill. I encounter my fair share of tough days, but God put me here for a reason.

I don't know what will happen next. I know that it's ok for me to be looking into opportunities for next year, in fact it would be foolish not to, but I also need to remind myself that this is where God wants me to be. I have control of my own destiny, but I need to trust.

Updates tomorrow: "Go Texan Day" at Cristo Rey Jesuit, Providence, and maybe even Mardi Gras!