Go Texan Day?

Happy "Go Texan" Day!

Thought this had something to do with the football team? Me too. It doesn't.

It's literally a day when we dress "Texan." It's to celebrate the beginning of rodeo season... This is real life. I feel like I'm wearing a costume. It's surreal. ALL of my students are wearing this, and I'm the only one who's laughing.

Texas is a different country.

I'm buying my rodeo tickets tonight...

Trust in the Unknown

"If we are to do justice to his humanity, we must accept that he did not know what would happen next, only that this is where God wanted him to be."

As I was saying my prayers yesterday, this line jumped out at me. Here at CRJ, we have a faculty book club of sorts during Lent, where we read Sacred Space, a collection of thoughts and reflections as well as scripture from the Irish Jesuits. For more information on sacred space, click here. 

I am only halfway through JVC. I'm pretty sure that I blinked and it was suddenly almost the end of February, and the coming months will be just as packed and quick, but I do still have six months remaining.

Which is weird, because I am fighting against myself: I am consumed by trying to figure out the next step, but battling to stay present here in Houston. I know I've written about this before, but that line in the prayer jumped out at me. During Lent, we are meditating on Jesus' humanity and life here on Earth, as well as his sacrifice. Sacred Space breaks this season up by week with different ideas on which to meditate, and I have really enjoyed reading scripture each day and reflecting on Jesus.

"Jesus didn't know what would happen next, only that this is where God wanted him to be."

Ivan, one of the theology teachers, often talks about our jobs as "being Christ" to our students, and how each of our students need us to be Christ to them in a different way. I love this way of describing our work, and I try to remind myself of this when I'm having a particularly tough day at school. Christ often encountered difficult situations, but he had a mission from God that he needed to fulfill. I encounter my fair share of tough days, but God put me here for a reason.

I don't know what will happen next. I know that it's ok for me to be looking into opportunities for next year, in fact it would be foolish not to, but I also need to remind myself that this is where God wants me to be. I have control of my own destiny, but I need to trust.

Updates tomorrow: "Go Texan Day" at Cristo Rey Jesuit, Providence, and maybe even Mardi Gras!

Be Compassionate

So, let's take a moment to pause and reflect upon the fact that I'm currently blogging FROM THE PLANE, ON MY iPad. Technology is really cool sometimes. Shout out to Southwest Airlines for planes with wifi and a free drink because it's Valentine's Day. Anyway, I am in the middle of this AWESOME book, and I just had to blog about it immediately. I borrowed it from a co-worker and amazing role model of a teacher who dropped it off at my house very late last night so that I could have it for my trip (he is seriously awesome). It's called Tattoos on the Heart, by Greg Boyle, SJ. Go buy this book or get it from the library. Right now. Seriously. Go do it. I started it on flight #1 of the day, from Houston to Orlando, and I am already halfway through it. I can't put it down. I have been laughing out loud, reading entranced, and also openly crying for the past four hours, and I can't stop. I'll probably finish it by the time I get to Providence, and I will read it again on the way back. Greg Boyle is a Jesuit who lives and works in Los Angeles and has set up a few different companies that empower and employ gang members in the city that has been called the gang capital of the world. I actually considered putting one of his ministries, Homegirl Industries, as one of my potential choices for JVC, but my lack of Spanish skill killed that idea. I am now regretting all my years of French (not really) just because I'd love to be a part of such an amazing place (I still really love CRJ). I think that today, on Valentine's Day, it's appropriate to write about love. Greg Boyle embodies God's love, and does an incredible job showing other people that they too are Christ's love to other people. I could probably write about 70 different things I have learned in the first 100 pages of this book, but if I had to pick one for today, I would talk about love. Boyle writes a lot about the real needs of people in poverty, and while they do certainly need money for rent or diapers, their biggest need is self worth. This is especially prevalent in gang members: many of them know that their choices are wrong and feel immense guilt about it, but they do not know how to break the cycle. Once they realize their own self worth and the self worth of every other human being on this planet, they realize that they CAN change their lives, so they do. The connection between "sinners" and "outcasts" in biblical terms is not lost on Boyle, and how many people don't realize the connection those two meanings still subconsciously hold for many people in modern society. Greg Boyle, or "G" as he is known to many in his barrio, writes about resilience. This is something I have noticed about so many of the poor I have encountered- time and time again, they are knocked down, but they get back up again. "They say that an educated inmate will not reoffend. This is not because an education assures that this guy will get hired somewhere. It is because his view is larger and more educated, so that he can be rejected at 93 interviews and still not give up. He's acquired resilience. Sometimes resilience arrives in the moment you discover your own unshakeable goodness." (Boyle, 107) This book, a collection of Boyle's stories about his work and love without condition, force the reader to ask a lot of questions. How am I Christ to other people? Do I recognize my own self worth or am I way too hard on myself? If we can learn to love ourselves, we can better love each other. Happy Valentine's Day! Sending love from the air over North Carolina... almost in Friartown, a place where love knows no boundaries!

Replace It

I have so many things to post about that it's hard to pick just one, but I don't really want to ignore the significance of today, so look for posts about Mardi Gras in the next few days.

Today is a high, holy day. It has been held sacred by my ancestors and will be held dear by my descendants. We pause to reflect on the season ahead of us. We think back to the sins of the past and hope for a brighter future. That's right folks, Philadelphia's pitchers and catchers begin spring training today. Phighting Phils are back!

Ok, really today is Ash Wednesday, a HUGELY important day in the Church. I am also pretty happy about the Phils being back in action. Megan and I spent much of the past few days singing "it's the most wonderful time of the year," but that too will be another post.

Right. Ash Wednesday. Lent.

In Lents past, I have given up chocolate, the elevator, processed food (that was tricky as a college student), the snooze button, and a whole host of other things. I have tried to make it to daily mass three times a week, but otherwise, my giving up hasn't really been replaced with anything.

We had a spirituality night last night that gave us the chance to reflect upon a lot of the meaning of Lent and its three main components: prayer, almsgiving, and fasting. The three are more connected than many Catholics realize, and after having read this awesome article in America magazine, I took some time to further reflect on what my Lenten promise(s) would be for the year.

So, here goes nothing:

• I will not carry my phone with me during the day, in hopes that I'm completely present to my students and coworkers, and am not distracted by the time (that's why I have a watch) or incessantly checking my email.
• I will listen to and pray with a recording of Compline each evening, the Night prayer of the liturgy of the hours that I really love but don't make the time for.
• I will write one letter each day to someone who has had a really big impact on my life. I will dedicate my prayers to the "person of the day."
• I will find 15 minutes each day at school to reflect on my day and pray. I have been doing this most of the time, but I'm going to make it a habit.
• I will spend holy week in a "social media fast." No facebook, twitter, instagram, or anything else. The time I use on social media will be spent in prayer and reflection.
• NO MORE CRAP FOOD. I sometimes indulge in fast food on a Friday or Saturday evening- no more. See ya, french fries. This is a bad habit that I've gotten into during JVC and I'm going to get right back out of it.

Sounds like a lot, but I think I can do it. The idea is that when you give something up, it will bring you closer to God, so you REPLACE it with something else, like prayer or service.  I will replace wasted time with prayer, and dedicate that time to someone I love each day. This is also going towards my goal to simplify. If I simplify my actions and choices, I will be able to reflect more on their meaning and it will bring me closer to God.

I'm Bad at Being Sick

I'm superbly terrible at being sick. I know this about myself, but I don't know how to fix it.

I have an icky cold and cough, to the point that I left school early on Wednesday and took the day off yesterday. I did rest, drink a lot of liquids, and eat a lot of Vitamin C, but I was bored out of my mind.

I also folded laundry, did a little grocery shopping, packed for my upcoming trip, and graded some response paragraphs. Those errands and activities of course exhausted me, but I couldn't resist doing them. Staying home from school always fills me with guilt- I'm wasting time, I can suck it up and go, is this really the most productive thing I can do?

I think this says a lot about priorities in society. We are constantly busy, sometimes to the point that conversations become a competition- oh, you only have 3 classes worth of tests to grade? I have that PLUS drama projects and a community night to plan! Even when I was in college, I would have nights filled with meetings and homework, and how busy we were became a competition.

We value "busyness" as a whole- we don't know how to relax. It seems that we long for free time, but when we finally get it, we don't use it.

I don't have too much more to say- my brain is still cold-addled, but it's something to think about as the weekend approaches.

Speaking of the weekend...

NOLA, HERE WE COME! An apology to my immune system:

Immune system, we don't have the best history.
Sorry.
This weekend might put a further strain on our relationship.
Not much sleep combined with Mardi Gras activities might not work out very well for either of us.
Here's the thing, though: we both need to power through it.
Why?
On Thursday, we'll both be Friartown-bound.
Let's enjoy it.

Not Cool, Robert Frost.

Beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep.

Wait, that's not my alarm... that's Karen's alarm, I don't have to get up yet... wait... IT'S KAREN'S ALARM? IT'S LIGHT OUT?! WHAT TIME IS IT?!!?!?!?

7:08 AM.

Not only was I supposed to be teaching at 7:30 this morning, but I had "morning duty" at 6:45... which meant that I was supposed to be at school to unlock the doors and let the students in.

Luckily, I had packed my school and gym bags upon my return from the Superbowl party we went to, and had picked out today's clothes, which were hanging on the back of the door. I was dressed, out of the bathroom, and in the car by 7:17, and made it to school by 7:32. Not too shabby. I of course frantically called the front desk from the car to let school know that I would be late, and while I waltzed into my classroom at 7:33, my students still loved giving me a hard time about it.

A lot happened before 7:35.

I woke up to an upset tummy, which I didn't really register until I was halfway to school, and my voice is going in and out. I also inexplicably have the hiccups, and had to surprise sub a class third period. In other words, I have come down with a bad case of the Mondays.

Is it Mardi Gras yet?

In case you haven't seen this video, I thought I'd share it. It's my inspiration to get through the rest of my day as cheerfully as I can (along with a lovely gift I found in my mailbox at school- a whole package of different notecards that I can use from Kate, an FJV who is too good to me). Happy Monday!