Goodbye?

So, as school years usually do, mine is coming to an end.
Except I just realized that. The last day of classes is tomorrow.


I'm still in Texas for 2 months, and I have been very focused on that- trying to stay present and not daydream too much about home. Somehow in my attempt to stay present, I lost sight of the fact that the school year is ending tomorrow and I have to say goodbye to my students. I was certainly excited to no longer have to plan lessons or grade papers (I'm drowning in a sea of research papers, help!), but not at all to leave my students.

It's been an emotional month, and saying goodbye to the kids is the cherry on top. I'm so incredibly proud of them and how much they've grown this year- in fact, I just burst into tears grading a research paper, because in the beginning of the year its author couldn't write a complete sentence... he wrote a four-page research paper and PASSED! His transformation is definitely one of the most dramatic that I've witnessed, but I'm proud of all of my students. Their final assignment for me is a reflective essay about their personal growth since the beginning of freshman year, and I can't wait to read them!

I've thought about writing my own essay that goes along with their prompt... I probably will. How have I changed this year? In about 1000 different ways, and I know more are coming! Look for my essay soon.

My freshmen from writing will be very hard to say goodbye to, but I'm dreading 4 PM today, because that's when the goodbyes really begin... my 8th period juniors. I have loved them since the very beginning (they're my favorite class... I'm not supposed to have favorites, but I do), and have really gotten to know them over the course of this year. I can't wait to see all the amazing things they do next year as seniors and where they will end up in college. Part of me wanted to stay here for another year, just to wait until they graduated, but I know that would lead me down a slippery slope... and besides, when I think about moving home, my "heart leaps up," as a character in a book I'm reading says.

I have always hated the end of the school year... in fact, I can only think of two that I was happy to be done with. My mom often tells the story of me sobbing in her arms the night before my last day of 3rd (and 4th... and 5th...) grade, when I told her that it was "just the best year ever" and I didn't want it to end.

I have always dealt well with change, huh?

So, here goes nothing. I still have no idea what I'm going to say to these kids who have absolutely taught me more this year than I could ever teach them. Hopefully I'll come up with something eloquent by the end of the day!

Uncomfortable

Disclaimer: Everyone is fine!

What JV year would be complete without at least one trip to the ER? Thankfully, everyone is fine, but Megan and I had a long night last night, and got to fully experience the Houston Medical Center in action.

I got home from the gym and Megan was the only one home, and she had dinner almost ready. It smelled great, and as we were chatting about our days, I noticed that she had a giant piece of duct tape holding some gauze to her hand.

Megan: Hey, how was your day?
Julia: It was ok, one of my stude... Megan, what's that on your hand?
Megan: Oh, um, I kindof had an accident.
J: ...
M: I'm kindof bleeding a little. Well, a lot. I think I might need to go to the hospital.
J: WHAT HAPPENED?
M: Well, I was cleaning, and then a glass started to fall, so I went to catch it, and then it cut me.
J: When?
M: Oh, around 2. (It was 6 PM)
J: So, you just... made dinner?
M: Yeah, I mean what else was I going to do?

Cue me freaking out, grabbing some grading and a sweatshirt, and after a very confusing parking system, we were at the Houston Med Center. We went to the ER at St. Luke's, which an FJV had recommended, and we waited.

It wasn't that busy when we first arrived, and Megan went to triage fairly quickly. Not long after that, she went back to get stitched up, and I waited some more. I hadn't been in an ER for a very long time, and never in a city like Houston. Right as Megan left me, things stopped being quiet. I was reminded that the ER is the place where folks without health insurance can go to be treated (ps- health insurance is still an extremely confusing thing to me, so this might not be 100% accurate, but I'm relaying my understanding to you!), and people with all different types of health issues came in.

It was clear that one man just had a terrible head cold, but instead of going to a regular doctor, he went to the ER. A woman came in who was clearly in a lot of pain- she was screaming and crying, and while she went to triage fairly quickly, she was still in the waiting room when Megan and I left, almost an hour later. I saw stretchers coming off of ambulances being rushed in, people with clear wounds from violence, and many people who had come in by themselves and needed to call a cab in order to get home.

While I did have my grading with me, I was distracted, especially by the woman who was so visibly in pain. Not only was she in a lot of clear pain, she was not given the opportunity to be dignified in her pain. She had to wait in a very public waiting room while she was screaming and crying, and while I know that her physical pain must have been atrocious, it was only exacerbated by embarrassment. I would be mortified in her situation, and all I could do while I was sitting there was pray.

I have so many friends who are really passionate about healthcare reform, but my privilege has kept me out of the direct line of seeing why it's so important. I know that there are 1 billion different issues that fall under the umbrella of healthcare reform, but last night gave me a look into the lives of people who can't just call up a family doctor for something. Last night was uncomfortable for everyone (especially poor Megan who ended up with four stitches), but I was glad that I was there. I obviously wanted to be there for Megan, but I have been in a comfortable place at work and in our neighborhood recently, and I needed a little reminder of what JVC is supposed to do. I needed to sit in the uncomfort for an hour or two.

So yes, I'm tired today, because I had to spend time in the ER last night. I'm still expected to do my job, and we really had a relatively quick ER experience- about 3 hours from leaving the house, we were home. We (knock on wood) won't be back any time soon, and didn't need to pay anything because of JVC's awesome insurance.

Sacrifice

Hello, readers!

It's been a jam-packed week here in Houston. I had Tom come to visit me over last weekend and into this week, which was simply wonderful. I have been really missing home and PC, and he is the perfect combination of those two things. We went to an Astros game, a Dynamo game, saw the Houston Art Car Parade, and ate some delicious food over the course of a few days. I loved having him meet my community members and students, and as sad as I was to see him go, it made me all the more excited to return to Philadelphia come August.

A screenshot from Snapchat... Go Astros! Below are a bunch of different cars from the Art Car parade... such a fun event!

 Tom came to visit me at school!

Again, it was so great to have him here. Saying goodbye was really hard, but as the school year comes to an end, I am happy to stay present to my students. I cannot believe that this is my last week of teaching!

On Friday afternoon, we had a lovely event at school: a "fireside chat." In our beautiful faculty lounge, we sat on comfy couches and enjoyed snacks and drinks and just shared stories about students. It was complete with candles and a videoscreen of a real roaring fire, and another video screen of Andrew, a faculty member who left us in the middle of the year but has been an integral part of CRJ since the first year.

I heard so many stories about the very beginnings of the school, and how far its come. It's been a real transformation for sure, both of the facility and the people who have been a part of it. I heard about students who are no longer with us, the original phone system (it was just a cordless phone that the receptionist had to run down a hallway), and funny stories about the soon to be graduating. I was so proud to be a part of such an incredible community, and I started to get sad: it dawned on me that while I'll be in Houston for two more months, I will have to say goodbye to most of my students and many coworkers within the next two weeks. I'll miss them greatly, and I'm not sure how to communicate to them how much they have impacted my life.

Saturday morning, after some delicious breakfast tacos (seriously, my favorite food group is breakfast taco), I found myself helping out at CRJ. It was Saturday Academy- a time for students who are missing work to come to school and get it done. There were so many students who came to school that I found myself with a whole computer lab full of them, and I was in charge of making sure that they weren't chatting and were staying on task. I had come in so that I could help out my students who hadn't finished their research papers... and didn't anticipate how much more work was ahead of me. I was frustrated and slightly overwhelmed, but as I was trying to quiet down a particularly boisterous trio of students, I remembered something that Andrew said at our fireside chat the day before.

The word "sacrifice" literally means to make something holy. All of us who are a part of CRJ- students, faculty, staff, parents, volunteers- sacrifice so much in order to make CRJ work. Our work is holy work.

This was a year of sacrifice for me: I'm away from my family, boyfriend, and friends, I am working extremely hard for not a lot of monetary compensation, and I'm always hot. It is a holy year. As a JV, I am recognizing CRJ as a holy place, something that has given me more than I could ever give to it. So yes, my Saturday morning was sacrificed, but I made it holy by spending time at school.

I'm taking this idea of my holy year with me for the next two months. It's just what I need in order to keep my attitude up about being here. Here's to the final push!

Learning to Let Go

This past weekend, I celebrated Cinco de Mayo as only an actual Mexican would- by going to a mariachi mass! After we went to spiritual direction, Emily and I went to St. Joseph's church to attend a bilingual mass featuring a mariachi band. It was a different experience to say the least- I connect so much at mass through music, and when the music is all sung in Spanish, I don't have the same connection.

It's funny, when I was in Kenya, I didn't have that same feeling. Music at mass was mainly in Kiswahili, but I was able to feel the joy and emotion through the words I didn't understand (so many consonants!). The mariachi music felt stilted and kind of old, and I didn't find the joy, life, or meaning that I usually do. There was only one trumpet, and while I definitely enjoyed the new experience, I don't know that it would be my choice for mass each week. I'm really glad that I went, mostly because of how much I loved the homily.

The priest started out by talking about how little we are in control of our own lives. He's the chaplain at MD Anderson Cancer Center. He witnesses a lot of sadness that no one can do anything about every day.

We all like to be in control of things, and if there is one thing I've come to learn over the past few years, it's that I like control a lot. When I feel like I'm in control of something, I have much more confidence in myself and that I can do it. When I'm not in control, I'm anxious. Learning what I can and cannot control is honestly one of the biggest lessons of growing up that I have learned.

I can only control how I react to something. So even if I'm upset about it, if I allow myself to be upset, I'm the one who's making it bad.  This is something that I'm of course still learning- to let go of trying to be in control of everything and to just control your reactions to what happens. To "let go and let God" is not easy, but it's important to strive for. As my job search continues, that is what I am trying to remember. I can only control so much, I need to let go and let God. He's got me.

365 Days

As graduation for many schools approaches, I am stunned to think about the fact that it was a year ago that I packed my car and cried for 5 hours down 95 after having left Providence.

PCIrishDance had their Spring Semester Spectacular last night, the last performance for seniors. PCID was so hard for me to say goodbye to, and I know that these girls have worked so hard this year to make everything great, so I can only imagine how sad they're feeling today.

I feel like I just left Providence- I remember this time during my freshman year of college, when suddenly there was another class separating me from ND, and I wasn't the most recent graduate. It took a long time to get used to this, and I think it will take even longer to get used to the feeling at PC. I'm obviously so happy to be a JV, was thrilled to have a Philadelphia summer, and am looking forward to whatever next year may bring, but change has always been hard for me.

I have spent a lot of time today thinking about Providence- both the school and the city. This might have something to do with the fact that I'm reading a book about the Pawtucket Red Sox, and much of it takes place in Providence, but regardless, I thought of how wonderful PC in the Spring is. Glorious flowers, sunshine, music on the quad, hugs goodbye and excitement over the summer and coming year... it's a great time to be a Friar (but isn't it always?).

I am craving Providence. I just want to drive to Prospect Park blaring Coldplay and have a picnic lunch looking over the whole city. I know that the cherished memories of my four years (and amazing summer) can never happen again- it would be impossible to gather all of the people I love so much together again, but I will never forget the sense of joy and grace that city brought me.

So here's to new things... say a prayer, please, I'm working on an interview with a place I would LOVE to work next year! I know that the joy I felt in Providence will be brought to me somewhere else, but it doesn't hurt to be nostalgic every once in a while, right?

It's May!

This song has been in my head all day. Happy May day!

Tra la la la la!

Just Let the Words Fall Out

So, the past week, though so enlightening, hasn't been easy. Silent retreat was exhausting, and we returned to find out that one of our roommates has decided to leave JVC. It was a really hard decision for her, but ultimately the right one, and I'm nothing but proud of her for making it.

It was obviously very difficult for our community to see her go, but we are trying to keep on keeping on. Some of us spent the weekend in San Antonio for Fiesta, a huge festival. It was a blast- but very damp. It POURED rain... we took cover under a bridge on the riverwalk, and despite the inclement weather and the parade ultimately being canceled, being with the San Antonio and Austin JVs made it worth it.

Our house dynamic is tricky now that we're down one, and we aren't really processing it well, but we're continuing to do our work. That's why we're here, right? Today is the feast of St. Catherine of Siena, who many know I refer to as "my girl." She was a Dominican sister (awesome in its own right), and was named Doctor of the Church, the first woman to receive this honor. She did a lot of work to restore the Church during the schism and is credited with bringing Pope Gregory back to Rome from Avignon. She was a theologian and philosopher, and was awesome. She lived the Dominican ideal of finding the real truth, and she's my favorite saint (and patron saint from my Confirmation!).

I've been thinking a lot about her in the past few days. She's reminding me to be brave and keep trying to heal my community and give my all to my kids. This new Sara Barielles song came out last week... perfectly timed. I think St. Catherine would like it, and I'd say it's my new theme song, in case you were worried.

And just like it always is...

NOLA was just what I needed. All of Louisiana was, really. I left Houston on Saturday with a heavy heart, mourning for Boston and my friends whose lives have been so seriously altered. I returned last night refreshed and calm, even though I'd had a very emotional week. Louisiana is good to me that way.

As I drove down I-10 and entered that gorgeous city, I was reminded of hope and resiliency. This place that had gone through so much tragedy was doing just fine. Sure, there are a lot of lasting problems that still remain from the hurricane, but the spirit of the city is back, and stronger than ever. In fact, I'm not sure it ever left. This made me feel calmer: Boston, a city of tough people, will recover. They will be fine. They will run the marathon next year, and it will be beautiful.

The weekend was filled with amazing food, beautiful people, great music, and a lot of fun. JVs are some of the best people in the world, and the 30something of us who were gathered together in the NOLA houses were happily squished. The boys from South Dakota, the girls from Phoenix, people from Austin, San Antonio, and Mobile were all there, as well as our house, the two NOLA houses, and the other Houston house.It's so rare that we all get to spend time together, and having a weekend of fun to enjoy each others' company was so much fun.

One of the best parts of my time in NOLA was being able to share the city I'm so passionate about with my community and fellow JVs. Over different parts of the weekend, I took friends to get po'boys at Parkway Bakery, on a tour of the Lower Ninth Ward, and to Cafe du Monde and the French Quarter. We stumbled upon a second line parade that lead us to a giant Earth Day festival on Sunday, and I remembered why I decided to be a JV in the first place.

In the Lower Ninth, I took my community and the girls from Phoenix to the Lower Ninth Ward Village, an incredible community center set up after the storm that is run by locals- the people who know best what their community needs. Mack, the man who founded the village, has an incredible story, one that is at the roots of why I love NOLA. When we pulled up in front of the former auto body shop, we were greeted with open arms. Even though we weren't there to volunteer, Mack spent an hour with us sharing his story and showing us his project. I felt so blessed to be able to return to this place of resiliency and hope, and for my community members to gain a bit more of an understanding of why I feel the way I do about NOLA.

We got to spend a lot of time with the boys of the South Dakota (SoDak) community, which was also so restoring. They have what I believe are the most challenging positions in JVC- they live on a reservation in St. Francis, SD, working with the Lakota tribe. They are overworked and exhausted, sometimes frustrated, but so full of life. They have an isolating placement and do so many different kinds of jobs- anything that might be needed, they do, including radio DJ. They were very happy to have some time with other JVs, and their stories and amazing spirits were so wonderfully shared. Two of them will be on the East Coast next year- one in PA and the other in DC- I can't wait to hang out with them more!

On Monday, we left the Lower Ninth Ward and headed to our retreat in Convent, LA, about an hour from NOLA. We arrived to the gorgeous old plantation and got to spend time with the JVs who didn't make the trek to NOLA for the weekend, enjoyed a delicious dinner, and then we entered into silence.

The retreat was a "preached" retreat, which meant that we had a series of short talks each day that we attended, and then were guided in personal prayer. The grounds of Manresa, the retreat center named for Ignatius Loyola's own retreat into a cave near the town of Manresa, Spain, were stunning. Ancient live oaks were lined all over the property, which abutted the Mississippi River. I was able to pray and reflect in the sunshine of the gardens, in my room, in the gorgeous chapel, and in runs along the levee next to the river.

The silence was beautiful. It was so nice to have some time to think and pray and really be by myself- something I never get to do as a JV, except in the car. I had been really working at my relationship with God over the past few weeks, but this retreat was what helped the most. When I spent time in Kenya, a lot of that time was spent in prayer. I was able to pray in community with the Dominicans, and the combination of that prayer and my service was a perfect balance. I returned feeling grounded and loved, and I felt that way again while at Manresa.

I was able to connect to God so well, and I had a lot of time to pray contemplatively, something very Ignatian. This is when one reads a passage from scripture and really imagines themselves in the passage- what was it like to be there? I had a lot of reflection on Christ's love, His humanity, and His sacrifice, and it has given me much to think about in my final few months of JVC. I was able to reflect on sin, and how and why I want to do better. I have gained new insights into myself and who I am called to be, and the choices I will make after this year is over.

While on retreat I had ample time for reading. Much of this time was spent with scripture, but I also read "A Jesuit Off Broadway," a great book by Fr. Jim Martin, SJ. He spent time with the cast of the Public Theatre's The Last Days of Judas Escariot, and his reflections on working with actos, their relationships with God, the making of the play, and the connection between acting and prayer really helped me to dig deeper into prayer. He put into words the connection I've always felt, and I'd highly recommend the book to anyone, especially those who are theatrically inclined.

Driving back yesterday, I was filled with peace. I am tired, but happy, and ready to conquer the last quarter of this year.

Stuck in Reverse

I have been trying to find words since Monday afternoon. It's been hard to explain how I'm feeling, but I think that "heavy" is the best adjective I can come up with. While I'm not from Boston, and I didn't go to school in Boston, I feel like I know more people who live there and call it home than people in Philadelphia.

My Monday afternoon was spent frantically texting and calling all of my friends who were spending their day off celebrating at Marathon Monday, what I know is one of the most fun days of the year. Many of my best friends from college live and work in Boston, the heart and soul of New England. I was in a trance, pulling up CNN.com and watching the live stream of the finish line, going to the gym but not really running, just watching the news coverage.

Luckily, I spent Monday night among friends. There had been plans for a little gathering at Kate and McKenzie's apartment on Monday, and while they thought about canceling, they decided to carry on, and that was the best medicine. Good food, good friends, and many laughs can fix anything, even if it's temporary. Kate, a BC alum, knew how I was feeling, only more. I can't even imagine how I would react to such a tragic event in my home away from home of Providence, and I could tell that her heart was aching for Boston.

As is mine. While Monday night was a good distraction for me, coming to school on Tuesday morning was eerie. We prayed as a school for all those affected, but everyone here for the most part is so separated from the East Coast that they don't understand the repercussions. They don't know people in Boston. Many of them have never been to Boston, and don't really understand how big the marathon is. They haven't ever interacted with Sox fans, and they don't understand how proud Bostonians are.

Being around people who weren't reacting was hard- it was good to check in with Kate every once and a while, and thank God, our friends are all safe. As the days have gone on, I've learned of connections to two of the three people who lost their lives. The 29 year old woman was a friend's boss, and the 8 year old boy was the brother of an Irish dancer, a girl who lost a leg in the explosion. Jane, the dancer, was a student of one of the PC Irish Dance girls at a prestigious dance academy in Massachusetts.

The response from the Irish Dance community, both at PC and all over the world, is astounding. There is an organization that is making a t-shirt quilt (or probably several at this point) for Jane, made of Irish Dance school t-shirts that are being sent from all over the world. PCID and other Irish Dance orgs from New England colleges are hosting a dance-out next Friday to raise money for the family. I have never been so proud to be a PCID alum.

So yes, the response is beautiful. The first responders are amazing, as are the doctors and nurses working around the clock to heal people. Everyone, it seems, wants to help Boston. Kelly, a good friend from PC, works in City Hall in Boston. She has told me about the beautiful gestures of kindness she's witnessed (and taken part in herself), but also about the scary responses, specifically the Westboro "Baptist Church." Now, they don't really deserve anyone's time, and I'm not going to waste mine about how infuriating they are, but they're a presence in the city, and they shouldn't be.

I have been encouraged by stories of runners continuing on straight to Mass Gen to donate blood, seen the video of the National Anthem at the Bruins game, and Stephen Colbert's wise words (Boston was founded by the pilgrims- a people who were so tough that they had to buckle their goddamn hats on), but I can't help but ask why.

I don't have an answer, and I know that no one does. I was even more infuriated with the Senate when they didn't pass a bill requiring background checks for weapons. We see disasters like Sandy Hook and the Boston bombings, all rooted in terrible violence, and then we give in to the bullies at the NRA? When 92% of Americans support stronger background checks?!

Gabby Giffords said it best.

"Speaking is physically difficult for me. But my feelings are clear: I’m furious. I will not rest until we have righted the wrong these senators have done, and until we have changed our laws so we can look parents in the face and say: We are trying to keep your children safe. We cannot allow the status quo — desperately protected by the gun lobby so that they can make more money by spreading fear and misinformation — to go on." (Read her whole op-ed here.)

I realize that I haven't written about my Kairos experience yet, and I know that this post is getting lengthy, but I can't ignore the connections. One of the student leaders gave a talk that has changed my world. 

He has two older brothers, both of whom joined a gang, a completely normal choice in urban Houston for a Mexican teenage boy. One of them was on a "tag team," which means that he and his partner went out and tagged (graffiti-ed) the gang's symbols. My student's brother's partner wanted out of the gang, and really turned his life around. He got a job as a mural artist in LA, and during the process, became a real mentor to my student. He was more of a brother than any biological brother had been. LA was great, and my student's mentor came home for a visit in September.

He called the house to let my student know that surprise, he was just getting gas around the corner, and would be over for a visit soon. My student described watching his mother on the phone with his mentor, and how filled with joy she was that he would be over soon. Suddenly, her face changed. She put down the phone, picked up her keys, and ran to the car. My student followed, and despite his questions, his mother was silent. Until they got to the gas station.

My student got out of the car to find his mentor dead next to his car, shot in a drive-by, a repercussion of coming back to Houston, where he had been a member of the "wrong gang." 

In a place where boys are literally born into these gangs because of family ties, where they have no choice other than fight or die, they are forced into gun violence. 

This was a reminder of why I'm here- I'm not a teacher, I am here to be Christ to these students who have been so broken by a cycle of poverty and violence.
I can't prevent what happened to my student's mentor or the terrible acts of violence in Boston, but I can try to break the cycle of violence with my students now. I can TRY to fix them.

In Transition

Over the past few weeks (and years), I have been in transition. I know this is something I've written about before, but the past few weeks it's been practically shoved in my face.

I have been off and on planes, flown all across the eastern half of the country, and driven all around East Texas. Upon each return to Houston, I have unpacked a suitcase only to repack it and take off again. Last night, I unpacked in Houston for what seems to be the last time.

I'm in the final third of JVC... it's completely surreal. Where did this year go? I only have about 6 more instruction weeks left with my students, (28 more pre-6 AM wake ups, but who's counting?)and then a summer with a very different feel to it. I'll be tutoring summer school from 8:30-12:30, and then remaining at school for a few hours to help out administratively. It will be a HUGE change of pace- no more lesson plans, very minimal grading, and a lot more sleep.

I won't lie... I'm looking forward to it. I know that this is the home stretch of the hard work, and I'm trying to remain focused on my work and my students, but the dreams of summer don't escape you once you move from student to teacher.

As I'm focusing on my work, I'm also applying for jobs! I have one resume and cover letter in, and I'm working on two more... there is one position that I REALLY want, and I hope to have my application submitted on Monday! It's exciting for sure, but the application season couldn't have worse timing. Just as I'm refocusing and planning for the rest of the semester, I am also having to spend time focusing on adjusting my resume and writing cover letters. It feels like finals season all over again!

I have a lot to balance right now, but I feel a great sense of peace. I was happy to return to Houston this time, and especially to return to a sense of routine and normalcy. I really do miss my students while I'm gone, and I'm happy to be settled in with them for the next 2 months.

So while I'm back and settled in, I'm still in transition. I have to be thinking about the next step while I'm thinking about my work here. It's overwhelming, but not the hardest thing I've ever done. I just have to keep on trucking through... 8 weeks until summer!

Update!

I'm baaaaaaack!

I know, it's been forever. I'm sorry. Life has been (and continues to be) crazy, but will only be for a short while longer! I'm down to about 4 months left in Tejas (what?!), and as I suddenly realized, only 2 of those are with students. Yikes.

So here's the reader's digest version of what's been happening recently:

1. I went to Austin for South by Southwest for my friend Courtney's band! They were awesome, and I met my favorite YouTube personality, Hannah Hart! She makes a series of videos called "My Drunk Kitchen," and my roommates senior year of college and I really love her. I knew from twitter that she was in Austin, and of course as soon as I stopped scouring every bar on 6th street, I looked over, and there she was. Awesome.

 Courtney KILLED it!

 Hannah and Me!

2. I went home! Surprise!! My mom and a few selected NDA friends knew, but I went home during Cristo Rey spring break and surprised most of my family and friends. It was a lovely few days at home, and while I didn't get to spend as much time as I wanted to with everyone, it was still so very wonderful.

 Surprise, Dad!

3.  I went on Kairos! I went on Kairos III as an adult leader and cook with the junior boys. It was hilarious, inspiring, uplifting, and heartbreaking all in one. I learned a lot more detail about the things my students face every day, and gave me a good reminder that I am not just a regular teacher here- I'm volunteering and should be reflecting better. Full post on Kairos to come soon!

4. There is a new Pope! And he's (mostly) awesome and Jesuit! A whole post will come about this as well, but I couldn't ignore it!

A real post will follow, but I owed you all an update. I head home tomorrow for almost a week: yippee!

A Piece of Home

As I mentioned in my last post, I had some visitors this weekend! Kaitlin and Mary Emily, two of my best friends from high school, came down to Texas on Saturday. It's Mare's spring break from law school this week, and Kaitlin took her first "fun" vacation time from her job to come play with me!

It was a weekend of a lot of delicious food, so much fun, and a wonderful piece of home. I think you can all tell that I'm fairly homesick as much as I love my work here, and having Kaitlin and Mare here made that so much easier. I really enjoyed showing them around the city and taking them places to eat, and since they were here, I did a lot of things that I probably wouldn't have otherwise.

On Saturday we went immediately to Torchy's, my favorite taco place in Houston. They were hungry after a long flight, and I don't think I've ever said no to a Torchy's outing. On the way home, we stopped by Chris and Ryan's to pick up an air mattress and pillows/blankets (I seriously don't know how I'd do this year without them), since Cassie also had friends in town. We wanted to make sure everyone had a comfortable place to sleep!

After stopping by home and picking up Karen, we went to a party for Texas Independence Day at a really cool bar on the outskirts of downtown called The Refinery.  It was a "brew-off" of different Texas breweries, and we got to try a lot of different varieties of beer. My favorite was definitely a jalepeno beer from Katy, TX.

Note: yes, you did read Texas Independence Day. It's a thing. It was Sam Houston's birthday, and it's the day that Texans celebrate the period of time when Texas was a republic. They're quite proud that they're the only state whose flag can fly at the same height as the US flag. Of course.

Saturday night, we had a little party at my house, which was a lot of fun, and ended with some really great pizza. Sunday morning we went to a DELICIOUS brunch and went vintage store hunting. I didn't end up with anything, but it was still really fun!

Then, we hit the rodeo. Read my previous post for all those details.

I had to work on Monday (womp) but only until 2, so Mare and Kaitlin got up and drove me to work (they are seriously the best friends), and took my car back with them. After getting a few more hours of beauty sleep, they went to Hermann Park in the middle of Houston, one of my favorite spots, and Mare read while Kaitlin went on a run. She's training for the Broad Street Run through Team in Training (check out her page here), and she missed her team training because she came to visit me, so she got her run in on a gorgeous Texas day- the high was 80, no humidity, with sun shining.

They came to pick me up and we went straight to NASA to tour the Johnson Space Center! Luckily, we got the very last tram tour ride of the day, and we got to see the Apollo Mission Control Room, as well as the Saturn V rocket. It was so cool to see everything, and it honestly felt like we were in DisneyWorld.

On the tram tour!

Houston, we have a problem.

Kaitlin and I in front of the GINORMOUS Saturn V

And another with Mare.. does this photo give you some perspective as to its size?

Yesterday, I taught my morning classes, and picked the girls up for lunch to get some good barbecue. I must say that I wasn't all that impressed with the place we went- I'll have to update you all on where the best bbq is, but I have a feeling that it's actually not in Houston, but other parts of Texas.

We then went to my favorite boutique cupcake place, Sprinkles. I enjoyed a lovely peanut butter chip cupcake and small glass of milk, and just as Mare sat down to her Irish Chocolate cupcake (Belgian chocolate cake with Bailey's frosting...) and coffee, disaster struck in the form of a text. Their flight (through Chicago, eek!) was delayed so much that they'd miss their connection. Luckily, Mary Emily is a travel expert, and as Kaitlin and I watched while enjoying our treats, Mare had them rebooked through Orlando, but the closest they could get to Philadelphia was Baltimore. Kaitlin had to work today, and they knew that if they didn't get in last night, they wouldn't get in until Thursday night or Friday because of the snow. 

 

Two iPhones in use, and they had a new flight!

 

When they landed in Orlando, they discovered that their flight to Baltimore had been cancelled. They BOOKED it to another gate and ran right onto a new plane and thankfully made it home very late last night.

I'm so grateful to my wonderful friends who flew all the way down to see me, endured my crazy house and crazy schedules, and then had to deal with getting home in a snowstorm. I'm pretty lucky.

Well, How-dee!

It's rodeo season here in Houston, and I suddenly feel like I live in a different country. I know I have said this about Texas before, but the rodeo takes it to a whole new level.

Think of every single stereotype of Texas you can. What came to mind? Trucks? Fried food? Accents? Farms? Texas flags? Animals? Cowboy hats? Football?


That's the rodeo. All of those things are gathered into one place. It's overwhelming.

Yesterday, we adventured to the rodeo for the first time. After parking at Chris and Ryan's (they're seriously the best) and walking over, we picked up our tickets at will-call, and found our way inside the gate.

Then, we had no idea what to do. The rodeo has several parts, but we don't really know how to navigate them. There is a carnival, a livestock show (still very unsure what that actually means), and a rodeo, and then a big concert every night.

We wandered around the carnival at first, and saw a lot of rides and games, as well as a lot of fried food (on a stick!). For those of you who are familiar with Havertown traditions, think St. Denis Fun Fair, with a lot more fried food and about 10 times as big. I had the option to have any food fried- literally. So I figured when in Rome...

My qualifications were that it had to be fried and it had to be on a stick. This was easily achieved... with a fried Snickers.

Yes, the girl who prefers whole foods and eats vegetarian ate a fried Snickers bar on a stick. And liked it.

Then, we wandered through the Livestock Show Pavillion. We saw what looked like the AKC dog show... but kids were showing cows. We can't decide if this was what the Livestock Show is or if it's where people go to buy horses, pigs, goats, lambs, etc, but we will figure it out eventually!

Finally, we headed into the actual rodeo. We saw events like steer wrestling, calf scrambling, barrel racing, and bull riding... it was surreal. I loved that the best barrel racer EVER in the history of the Houston Rodeo... is a woman! She is a cowgirl from South Dakota, and is really cool. The events were so entertaining, and a very interesting part of American culture.

My favorite by far... Mutton Bustin'. It is when small children (aged 4-7) ride sheep for as long as they can. It's actually hilarious. They just grab on to the sheep and hold tight... so cute. Peyton, a 6 year old girl, was the Mutton Bustin' champion. Her interview was adorable... she informed the cowgirl that she had  done this 7 times before, which was probably why she was so good at it. She also practiced on her dog.

After the cowboy events were over, there was a concert that our ticket included admission to! Last night? Austin Mahone and Demi Lovato. Teen pop sensations. Pretty sure we were waaaaaay too old to be there, but we loved every second of it. Demi especially- she is such a positive role model for girls! She beat an eating disorder and depression, and she is very open about her story and empowering people to beat these terrible things. She's actually very talented too- girl can sing! She's from Texas and sang a great country song about being home, and teared up... which is when Eva, Megan and I lost it.

Look for more updates about missing home and the visit of Mary Emily and Kaitlin very soon!

Go Texan Day?

Happy "Go Texan" Day!

Thought this had something to do with the football team? Me too. It doesn't.

It's literally a day when we dress "Texan." It's to celebrate the beginning of rodeo season... This is real life. I feel like I'm wearing a costume. It's surreal. ALL of my students are wearing this, and I'm the only one who's laughing.

Texas is a different country.

I'm buying my rodeo tickets tonight...

Trust in the Unknown

"If we are to do justice to his humanity, we must accept that he did not know what would happen next, only that this is where God wanted him to be."

As I was saying my prayers yesterday, this line jumped out at me. Here at CRJ, we have a faculty book club of sorts during Lent, where we read Sacred Space, a collection of thoughts and reflections as well as scripture from the Irish Jesuits. For more information on sacred space, click here. 

I am only halfway through JVC. I'm pretty sure that I blinked and it was suddenly almost the end of February, and the coming months will be just as packed and quick, but I do still have six months remaining.

Which is weird, because I am fighting against myself: I am consumed by trying to figure out the next step, but battling to stay present here in Houston. I know I've written about this before, but that line in the prayer jumped out at me. During Lent, we are meditating on Jesus' humanity and life here on Earth, as well as his sacrifice. Sacred Space breaks this season up by week with different ideas on which to meditate, and I have really enjoyed reading scripture each day and reflecting on Jesus.

"Jesus didn't know what would happen next, only that this is where God wanted him to be."

Ivan, one of the theology teachers, often talks about our jobs as "being Christ" to our students, and how each of our students need us to be Christ to them in a different way. I love this way of describing our work, and I try to remind myself of this when I'm having a particularly tough day at school. Christ often encountered difficult situations, but he had a mission from God that he needed to fulfill. I encounter my fair share of tough days, but God put me here for a reason.

I don't know what will happen next. I know that it's ok for me to be looking into opportunities for next year, in fact it would be foolish not to, but I also need to remind myself that this is where God wants me to be. I have control of my own destiny, but I need to trust.

Updates tomorrow: "Go Texan Day" at Cristo Rey Jesuit, Providence, and maybe even Mardi Gras!

Be Compassionate

So, let's take a moment to pause and reflect upon the fact that I'm currently blogging FROM THE PLANE, ON MY iPad. Technology is really cool sometimes. Shout out to Southwest Airlines for planes with wifi and a free drink because it's Valentine's Day. Anyway, I am in the middle of this AWESOME book, and I just had to blog about it immediately. I borrowed it from a co-worker and amazing role model of a teacher who dropped it off at my house very late last night so that I could have it for my trip (he is seriously awesome). It's called Tattoos on the Heart, by Greg Boyle, SJ. Go buy this book or get it from the library. Right now. Seriously. Go do it. I started it on flight #1 of the day, from Houston to Orlando, and I am already halfway through it. I can't put it down. I have been laughing out loud, reading entranced, and also openly crying for the past four hours, and I can't stop. I'll probably finish it by the time I get to Providence, and I will read it again on the way back. Greg Boyle is a Jesuit who lives and works in Los Angeles and has set up a few different companies that empower and employ gang members in the city that has been called the gang capital of the world. I actually considered putting one of his ministries, Homegirl Industries, as one of my potential choices for JVC, but my lack of Spanish skill killed that idea. I am now regretting all my years of French (not really) just because I'd love to be a part of such an amazing place (I still really love CRJ). I think that today, on Valentine's Day, it's appropriate to write about love. Greg Boyle embodies God's love, and does an incredible job showing other people that they too are Christ's love to other people. I could probably write about 70 different things I have learned in the first 100 pages of this book, but if I had to pick one for today, I would talk about love. Boyle writes a lot about the real needs of people in poverty, and while they do certainly need money for rent or diapers, their biggest need is self worth. This is especially prevalent in gang members: many of them know that their choices are wrong and feel immense guilt about it, but they do not know how to break the cycle. Once they realize their own self worth and the self worth of every other human being on this planet, they realize that they CAN change their lives, so they do. The connection between "sinners" and "outcasts" in biblical terms is not lost on Boyle, and how many people don't realize the connection those two meanings still subconsciously hold for many people in modern society. Greg Boyle, or "G" as he is known to many in his barrio, writes about resilience. This is something I have noticed about so many of the poor I have encountered- time and time again, they are knocked down, but they get back up again. "They say that an educated inmate will not reoffend. This is not because an education assures that this guy will get hired somewhere. It is because his view is larger and more educated, so that he can be rejected at 93 interviews and still not give up. He's acquired resilience. Sometimes resilience arrives in the moment you discover your own unshakeable goodness." (Boyle, 107) This book, a collection of Boyle's stories about his work and love without condition, force the reader to ask a lot of questions. How am I Christ to other people? Do I recognize my own self worth or am I way too hard on myself? If we can learn to love ourselves, we can better love each other. Happy Valentine's Day! Sending love from the air over North Carolina... almost in Friartown, a place where love knows no boundaries!

Replace It

I have so many things to post about that it's hard to pick just one, but I don't really want to ignore the significance of today, so look for posts about Mardi Gras in the next few days.

Today is a high, holy day. It has been held sacred by my ancestors and will be held dear by my descendants. We pause to reflect on the season ahead of us. We think back to the sins of the past and hope for a brighter future. That's right folks, Philadelphia's pitchers and catchers begin spring training today. Phighting Phils are back!

Ok, really today is Ash Wednesday, a HUGELY important day in the Church. I am also pretty happy about the Phils being back in action. Megan and I spent much of the past few days singing "it's the most wonderful time of the year," but that too will be another post.

Right. Ash Wednesday. Lent.

In Lents past, I have given up chocolate, the elevator, processed food (that was tricky as a college student), the snooze button, and a whole host of other things. I have tried to make it to daily mass three times a week, but otherwise, my giving up hasn't really been replaced with anything.

We had a spirituality night last night that gave us the chance to reflect upon a lot of the meaning of Lent and its three main components: prayer, almsgiving, and fasting. The three are more connected than many Catholics realize, and after having read this awesome article in America magazine, I took some time to further reflect on what my Lenten promise(s) would be for the year.

So, here goes nothing:

• I will not carry my phone with me during the day, in hopes that I'm completely present to my students and coworkers, and am not distracted by the time (that's why I have a watch) or incessantly checking my email.
• I will listen to and pray with a recording of Compline each evening, the Night prayer of the liturgy of the hours that I really love but don't make the time for.
• I will write one letter each day to someone who has had a really big impact on my life. I will dedicate my prayers to the "person of the day."
• I will find 15 minutes each day at school to reflect on my day and pray. I have been doing this most of the time, but I'm going to make it a habit.
• I will spend holy week in a "social media fast." No facebook, twitter, instagram, or anything else. The time I use on social media will be spent in prayer and reflection.
• NO MORE CRAP FOOD. I sometimes indulge in fast food on a Friday or Saturday evening- no more. See ya, french fries. This is a bad habit that I've gotten into during JVC and I'm going to get right back out of it.

Sounds like a lot, but I think I can do it. The idea is that when you give something up, it will bring you closer to God, so you REPLACE it with something else, like prayer or service.  I will replace wasted time with prayer, and dedicate that time to someone I love each day. This is also going towards my goal to simplify. If I simplify my actions and choices, I will be able to reflect more on their meaning and it will bring me closer to God.

I'm Bad at Being Sick

I'm superbly terrible at being sick. I know this about myself, but I don't know how to fix it.

I have an icky cold and cough, to the point that I left school early on Wednesday and took the day off yesterday. I did rest, drink a lot of liquids, and eat a lot of Vitamin C, but I was bored out of my mind.

I also folded laundry, did a little grocery shopping, packed for my upcoming trip, and graded some response paragraphs. Those errands and activities of course exhausted me, but I couldn't resist doing them. Staying home from school always fills me with guilt- I'm wasting time, I can suck it up and go, is this really the most productive thing I can do?

I think this says a lot about priorities in society. We are constantly busy, sometimes to the point that conversations become a competition- oh, you only have 3 classes worth of tests to grade? I have that PLUS drama projects and a community night to plan! Even when I was in college, I would have nights filled with meetings and homework, and how busy we were became a competition.

We value "busyness" as a whole- we don't know how to relax. It seems that we long for free time, but when we finally get it, we don't use it.

I don't have too much more to say- my brain is still cold-addled, but it's something to think about as the weekend approaches.

Speaking of the weekend...

NOLA, HERE WE COME! An apology to my immune system:

Immune system, we don't have the best history.
Sorry.
This weekend might put a further strain on our relationship.
Not much sleep combined with Mardi Gras activities might not work out very well for either of us.
Here's the thing, though: we both need to power through it.
Why?
On Thursday, we'll both be Friartown-bound.
Let's enjoy it.

Not Cool, Robert Frost.

Beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep.

Wait, that's not my alarm... that's Karen's alarm, I don't have to get up yet... wait... IT'S KAREN'S ALARM? IT'S LIGHT OUT?! WHAT TIME IS IT?!!?!?!?

7:08 AM.

Not only was I supposed to be teaching at 7:30 this morning, but I had "morning duty" at 6:45... which meant that I was supposed to be at school to unlock the doors and let the students in.

Luckily, I had packed my school and gym bags upon my return from the Superbowl party we went to, and had picked out today's clothes, which were hanging on the back of the door. I was dressed, out of the bathroom, and in the car by 7:17, and made it to school by 7:32. Not too shabby. I of course frantically called the front desk from the car to let school know that I would be late, and while I waltzed into my classroom at 7:33, my students still loved giving me a hard time about it.

A lot happened before 7:35.

I woke up to an upset tummy, which I didn't really register until I was halfway to school, and my voice is going in and out. I also inexplicably have the hiccups, and had to surprise sub a class third period. In other words, I have come down with a bad case of the Mondays.

Is it Mardi Gras yet?

In case you haven't seen this video, I thought I'd share it. It's my inspiration to get through the rest of my day as cheerfully as I can (along with a lovely gift I found in my mailbox at school- a whole package of different notecards that I can use from Kate, an FJV who is too good to me). Happy Monday!

How are you feeling, Julia?

One of the many additions to facebook recently has been that the website inquires about its users feelings in the status box. Where I go to type in something to share with my facebook friends and the rest of the internet, facebook has a question: How are you feeling, Julia?

Right now, I'm feeling incredibly blessed. I'm in a healthy, happy, and productive routine, my students are taking personal responsibility for their work and are increasingly able to work independently during my classes, I actually know my way around the city, and I just had an INCREDIBLE meeting with our principal.

I could go on for pages about the amazing coworkers I have here at Cristo Rey Jesuit- they are so warm and supportive and wonderful, but our principal might take the cake. She has been nothing but a mentor and resource for me while I've been here, and she genuinely cares about my well-being. In our mid-year evaluation meeting, she offered to let me just come hang out in her house when I needed a break, because it's really big and she never uses it. She's awesome.

Not to mention that she is a great educator and really cares so much about the students... Anyway, I really could go on for hours, but I'll stop myself, because I have some great news! In our meeting, Katherine told me how much she wants me to play a more active role in CRJ Campus Ministry, beginning with: GOING ON KAIROS!

I'm so thrilled. I'm beyond thrilled. I'm ecstatic. I will be going on the boys Kairos retreat from March 20-23, but will have a bit of a different role than the other adult leaders. I'll be helping with logistics and in the kitchen (I mean, if I HAVE to cook...), and maybe will be giving a talk. Things are still in the works, but I'm so happy to be going!!

I will also be assisting with more Campus Ministry activities around the school throughout the year, including masses and helping with the planning of retreats. I am so happy to be able to do more of this kind of work!

I'll leave you with the words of Andrew Hoyt, an incredible teacher and human being in general, who I learned more from in 4 months than I could have even dreamed. He was at Cristo Rey from day one of its existence, and while he had to leave us because of family commitments halfway through this year, his presence is still felt here. He wrote a reflection for Catholic Schools week for the ACE program through Notre Dame, and  it's so lovely that I thought I'd share:

"That’s it!” Steve flung his book on his desk in anger. “I’ve had you for three years, and you never give me a straight answer. Every time I ask you a question, you just answer with another question. Just answer me!”
Murmurs of agreement fluttered through the classroom. Heads nodded in grave assent: It was true. He never answered your questions.
“Wow, Steve. Thanks for saying something. Why do you think I do that?”

***
As a part of the corporate work-study program at Cristo Rey Jesuit, students spend one day a week working in Houston businesses. After prayer each morning, a number of students pass back out the front doors, tread across the school crest - the word "Magis" above a Christogram - and climb onto buses to go to work.
Four years ago, Andres had never been in an elevator before. Now, he steps off the downtown bus once a week, straightens his tie, and transcends realms. At the top of one of the highest buildings in Houston, this young man from the barrio looks out the window toward the sunrise and continues to his desk. He has work to do.

***
Late on a Friday night, the entire senior class sat together in the chapel. The pews buzzed with the electricity of raw emotion and the late hour. But when he stood up, the entire church went silent.
With 75 pairs of eyes tracing his uncertain steps, he stumbled toward the lectern. Everyone had been pouring their hearts out tonight, but what could he have to say? He almost never spoke in class, never said hello in the hallway. He climbed up into the sanctuary and into unfamiliar territory: He was the center of attention.
Somewhere in the darkness, someone clapped. And they began chanting his name.
A boy who'd hardly uttered a word to most of his classmates now stood in front of a chanting crowd. And he spoke.
"Thank you,” he said, “I know you’re all probably scared of me, but I love you.”
He told his classmates that even though they might not realize it, they were his friends. They were his family. "You said hi to me every day. I never felt like I belonged anywhere before here."
He leaned on the lectern, still anxious, and told them that he looked forward to walking through the school doors every day because he knew he would be safe. “No one really knew how important it was that the school was there for me,” he said, “even if I didn’t act like it.”
"If you say good morning to me next week, I still might growl at you," he finished, "but at least you'll know how much it means to me."
The chapel swelled with cheers and laughter, and he stepped back down, awkwardly enduring the barrage of hugs from his friends.

***
For three and a half years, I taught at Cristo Rey Jesuit in Houston, Texas. Most of the students in this low-income Catholic school are zoned to one of the three nearby public schools. In 2007, a Johns Hopkins study labeled all three of these large, overcrowded schools as "dropout factories," where more than 40% of the student body drops out each year.

At Cristo Rey Jesuit, the standard is about more than staying in school. It is a safe place, where students face more than homework, grades, and lectures. In this Catholic school, students encounter mystery, dignity, and love. They are invited to be more – to strive for the magis – and to reach for something higher than they ever thought possible.

Updates Coming...

Updates to follow, but in the mean time, watch this. I've never been prouder to be a part of something in my whole life. Try not to cry.

The Celebrant Wore Sunglasses

I'm so happy to be back at school this morning, as tough as my morning was when the alarm went off bright and early. My retreat was really wonderful, and I enjoyed my day off yesterday, but it's always nice to get back into the swing of things.

On Wednesday morning, after a bit of confusion at the car-rental place, we began our trek to the HEB Foundation Camp, which is about 12 miles North of Leakey, TX. It was a five-hour drive, and once we got past the familiar drive to San Antonio, it was really quite beautiful. The landscape in the hill country was absolutely stunning, and I had never seen any place in the world that looked like Frio River Canyon, where our campsite was located. The water was so clear that we could see the catfish swimming along the bottom, and it lived up to its name. "Frio" is the Spanish word for cold... I might have jumped into the river one afternoon. I might have been FREEZING. But I might have also been exhilarated.

 We ended up renting this monstrosity, since it was the only rental car left in Houston- I secretly loved it. I ended up driving my own car, but we put my name on the drivers list so that I could take it from the rental place to the house.

The retreat was based around the pastoral circle, and was led by a Jesuit, Fr. Fred Kammer. I really enjoyed his lectures and the opportunity to meet in small groups with other JVs in other cities. We were grouped by population, so I was with JVs who teach in other parts of the country- one in NOLA, one in Arizona, and one in South Dakota on a Lakota reservation. We all shared experiences with our students, and as the retreat went on we talked about social analysis and theological reflection, two parts of the pastoral circle. We then talked about advocacy and how we could look at the systemic changes that need to be made and what we can do about them as JVs.

 You can see down to the bottom of the river there- it's hard to tell where the edge of the water starts... it was so beautiful!

It was a somewhat overwhelming experience, and it of course made us realize that our students struggles are linked to poverty, hunger, the criminal justice system, immigration, and the whole gamut of social problems that JVs work with as a whole. We realized that while not everyone works with our students, their work affects our students, or students like ours in their respective cities.

As much as I really enjoyed nerding out over Theological reflection and tracing social justice throughout Biblical History, it was also really nice to take some time to hang out with JVs! I bonded with the South Dakota community, and I'm trying to save up enough money to go visit them at some point during this year. It's three wonderful guys who work so hard on the reservation, and they feel very isolated a lot of the time, though they love their work. They spend some time as radio DJs, actually- you can check out the res' station website here, and sometimes you can live stream to listen to them!

We also made concrete plans for our first trip (hopefully not our last) to NOLA- for MARDI GRAS!!! I will be in New Orleans celebrating Mardi Gras the weekend before actual Fat Tuesday this year... and I can't wait. We'll stay at the NOLA JV house, and will have a whirlwind, most likely exhausting celebration before heading back in time to go to work on Monday. I think by now you all know how special New Orleans is to me, and I really can't wait to see it at Mardi Gras.

We had a really lovely mass at our retreat center, and I got to participate in a few ways more than I usually do. I was a part of our musical group, consisting of two guitars and five singers. It was fun to sing mass songs that I know and love and don't hear very often at mass here. I was also asked to give a reflection after the gospel instead of the priest saying a homily, along with Jimmy, a JV in South Dakota. I was honored to share my experiences with the other JVs, and it was a lovely mass. We had a re-commissioning ceremony as a part of it, where we anointed the hands of our other community members with Holy oil as we go out to continue our good works in the world.

Fr. Fred, our Jesuit-in-residence for the weekend, had misplaced his regular glasses along the trek out to us, and only had his prescription "aviator" style sunglasses with him for the weekend. He wore them during his talks, and in addition to his really cool JVC-inspired stole, plaid flannel shirt, and sweatervest, he wore them during mass.

The weekend allowed me to take a step back, reconsider my motivations for applying for JVC, and remember why I'm here. I learned a lot about myself, and I know that I'll be able to grow significantly over the course of the next six months.

Into the Wild

Tomorrow morning, I begin my trek into what I'm calling "real Texas," for our JVC "Re-Orientation." It's a winter retreat focused around social justice with all of the JVs in the south, and I'm really looking forward to it!

The JVs from New Orleans and Mobile are on their way here and are staying at the other Houston house for the evening, and we'll see them for brunch tomorrow. We will then drive to Leakey, TX, the county seat of Real County (I just googled Leakey and found that out...for real. I can't make this up. It really is real Texas!), a land where cell phone towers don't even reach.

I'm off the grid until Sunday, folks, and into the wild. Wish me luck. This Yankee doesn't quite know what she's getting herself into. Stories to follow! xo

Contemplative in Action

Today, a group of PC students are traveling to New Orleans to embark on an incredible week of service, community, and solidarity. I was one of those students a year ago, and it's because of that trip that I am a JV.

I first went on the NOLA immersion program in January 2010, where I was introduced to JVC, New Orelans, and a future career in service. I made some amazing friends, gained some mentors, and fell in love with a city and an idea. I returned in 2012 with another incredible group, including my boyfriend and some of my best friends. Our relationships only grew stronger, and it solidified the idea that I wanted to be a JV.

Today, I was on retreat with my colleagues at Cristo Rey Jesuit, learning and reflecting upon what it means to be "contemplatives in action," something that is a motto of the Jesuit order. My first NOLA trip was organized through a group called Contemplatives in Action, and I loved realizing how appropriate it was that these two worlds would come together today, in my newest service experience.

We reflected on other Jesuit mottos- "men and women for others," and Ad Memoriam Dei Glorium, "for the greater glory of God." Fr. Brian Reidy, SJ, our retreat director for the day, mentioned how those two things might seem contradictory- that we are supposed to be working for others and for God simultaneously, but that in reality, those two things are the same.

We practiced prayer in the style of contemplative imagination, and while I had read much about this Jesuit tradition, I hadn't ever practiced it. I'm very happy to say that I really enjoyed it, and I think I learned a lot about prayer and myself. I read a passage from scripture, and tried to imagine myself IN the story.

I chose the passage where Jesus encounters the woman who is an adulterer, with the famous line "let he among you without sin be the first to condemn." I imagined the passage from the perspective of the woman, of the guards, and of the people in the crowd. I struggled at first to bat the distractions of other thoughts out of my head, but I was eventually able to focus and journal a lot.

We also discussed what it meant to be a contemplative in ACTION- that we have a call to pray and have a close relationship to God, but also to do His work. This year is all about me as a contemplative in action, and I am realizing that it's all rooted in my time in NOLA.

I realized today that while I'm not getting on a plane for a week of life-changing fun in New Orleans, I'm doing the things that NOLA taught me. I'm serving with my whole heart, and I'm becoming a better person for it.

One Word

As the New Year has begun, I have read countless articles about resolutions. People resolve to finally lose weight, get that promotion, save money, go on a trip, etc, but one of the articles I read had a different suggestion. For 2013, pick one word.

I like the idea of a one word resolution. Instead of choosing to lose weight or spend less time in front of screens (both things I'd like to do in 2013), I have chosen one word that encompasses both of those things, but also calls me to a greater ideal. Instead of basing my resolution "on last year's regrets," as fellow blogger Don McAllister writes here, I have a word that will challenge me and uplift me, and (hopefully) bring things in my life together. I like to feel in control of things, though I know that I'm actually never really in control of anything but my own reaction to any given event. So here's my feeble attempt at controlling this new year, that will certainly be filled with a lot of amazing things, and a lot of change, something I know is good but I'm still grappling with.

Oh, you want to know my word?

Simplify.

Yes, as a JV, simplicity is an ideal that I'm supposed to be striving toward every day, but sometimes it's just a lot easier to take a disposable plastic spoon for my yogurt in the morning that I won't have to think about when my breakfast is finished instead of a silverware one. It's small things like that, and big things like spending less time in front of my computer/iPhone/iPad/TV and instead in prayer, conversation, or activity.

I have big plans for 2013- Mardi Gras in New Orleans, moving home, and finding a new job and starting my "big girl life," possibly traveling to visit friends living abroad (after I find that new job...), and a lot that I have yet to discover. While I will be busy, I hope to have a simple spirit, and simple possessions. I'm planning to cut down on the things that I own, and while the move back from Texas will certainly help with that, I need to spend several hours in the basement and attic of my parents' house, as well as find a way to curb my shopping. Earning $100 a week was one way to do it, but when I returned home, out of the JV world, it was like I'd never left.

I also plan to simplify what I eat- something that is hard since I usually only cook one night per week, and people bring food for us all the time, but I'm going to be disciplined about how much processed food I'm taking in and taking care of my body.

My spirit, possessions, and appearance are all going to simplify in 2013, in hopes that my mind and faith will grow.

What's your word?

And She's Back.

Hi all,

I know it's been forever since I've posted, and for that I am sorry! Between end of the semester exams, internet problems, and being HOME for two weeks, I simply had no time to do anything else but sleep. But here I am!

I'm back in action and ready to go... one class down already! Leaving home was not easy... in fact, there were many tears, MANY tears, but I knew that once I returned to Houston, I'd be okay. I didn't want to leave my home, and after having spent so much time in Philadelphia, I didn't really want to come back to Houston, but alas, here I am.

It was so wonderful to see my housemates again last night, even if I wasn't completely thrilled about my geographic location. We were immediately laughing (and eating) again, and all was well. I am still missing one of my checked bags (PLEASE say a prayer that it gets to me- all of my favorite clothes are in it), but other than that, I had a relatively smooth transition once I hit the ground in Texas.

My 5:30 AM alarm was simply rude this morning, but after I realized that it was in fact an alarm that meant I had to wake up and not some silly mistake, I wasn't too grumpy. I'm tired but happy to be back at school. I'd be lying if I told you that I didn't miss my kids- they bring me so much joy! I'm slowly settling into my routine again, and I'm happy about it. Once my sleep cycle gets reset and everything gets flowing as regular again, I'll be back to my happy self!

A cup of tea in my new LaSalle coffee cup (thanks Leenie!) helped me to begin my day, and helping a new teacher get settled in to his classroom was a good distraction from the fact that it was so very dark out when I arrived at school. When I arrived home last night, after a DELICIOUS dinner involving authentic tacos cooked by Eva; Cassie, Rachel and I watched the season premiere of Downton Abbey! It was simply lovely to see our favorite characters back in action, and we of course enjoyed a lovely cup of tea alongside the Crawley family.

I think part of what made leaving so hard was that for once in my adult life, everything and everyone that I really loved was in one place, except for me! My family, friends, and boyfriend are all in the same city- not to mention that the city is Philadelphia. It seemed odd to be leaving it, but I know that I'm in Houston for a good reason- to do God's work with these awesome kids.

I won't launch into a full description of Christmas Break, because I could be writing that post until 2014, but here are some highlights:

-Tom surprising me at the airport
-Christmas Eve Mass in our home
-SNOW on Christmas Eve!!
-Christmas Day
-visiting the Philadelphia JV house
-lots of food with my ND ladies
-New Year's Eve with family and PC friends
-visiting Cristo Rey Philadelphia
-sleeping
-eating meat (though I now feel the need to detox)
-taking a cooking class with my mom
-breakfasts in the city
-visiting family from Dallas
-knitting
-sleeping
-wawa
-sleeping


Great things are on their way... so sorry for the disorganized post... there will be many more structured ones to follow!